Put Your Midot Where Your Mouth Is: A Letter to My Communities
Rabbis and Jewish leaders across denominations know damn well that Trump's policy on two genders is out of line with Jewish teachings.
Jewish groups, Rabbis, all denominations, everyone - anyone - listen up -
*I clink a glass, stand on my proverbial soapbox.*
Our president’s insistence by executive order and address that there are only two genders or sexes is a gross infringement of Jewish religious freedom. Rabbis and Jewish leaders of every denomination dedicate their lives to learning and teaching our sacred texts - they know perfectly well that the Talmud illustrates the spectrum of human sexual diversity. And that we are all made in Hashem’s divinely intentional image.
It’s scary and alienating to think that so many Jewish movements and organizations believe trans and intersex youth are a worthy sacrifice for some other kind of political safety. It’s even more terrifying to understand that for a huge portion of my Jewish community, in all its calls for kindness, really truly doesn’t care.
When a Rabbi speaks at a vigil for a murdered trans youth, but can’t utter the child’s name, the word transgender itself, or show up to family Pride, I have to wonder if the moment was anything more than a publicity stunt.
Let it alone, for a moment, that our president ignores decades - centuries - of solid science. Let it alone, for a moment, that the most advanced transgender and sexual health institution of the 20th century was Jewish-led and destroyed in the early days of the Nazi regime. We know where that led. Still, these may not be compelling reasons enough for some to advocate for basic transgender and intersex rights.
I was taught that Jewish ethic (midot) holds embarrassment of our fellow as a sin tantamount to taking a life. Too often of late, we’ve watched evil, power hungry, monstrous entities take Jewish lives and then use them, embarrass them, embarrass all of us, for their own gain.
Our president spent far too many moments in last night’s presidential address embarrassing, mocking - bullying - those who dared disagree with him. I was taught by my communities - greater Jewish Stamford, I’m looking at you - that bullying is wrong too.
When our orthodox shuls, synagogues, and schools preach v’ahavta l’reacha kamocha but joke about pronouns, acronyms, and pride flags at the Shabbos table, I wonder if they really love their fellow at all.
When they dress up cross-gender for Purim but mock gender affirming care and gender-inclusive educational policy, I have to wonder if we’re nothing more than the butt of a bad joke.
Come June, Pride month (no longer recognized by federal agencies, alongside Holocaust Remembrance Day) will roll around. It’ll be compelling to see who is brave enough to join Stamford’s Jewish Community Pride, or if, like last year, community religious leaders will be afraid to admit that loving your fellow doesn’t include your queer ones.
I won’t pretend to know everything there is to know about world politics, domestic policy, climate science, or Jewish law. But I know a bully - and a bystander - when I see one.
Transgender and intersex people exist. Always have, always will. We are as old as anything under the sun.
To every Jewish leader -
Muster up a little chutzpah and get out there and tell your congregations that trans and intersex Jews matter. That you don’t tolerate the hate - the scapegoating - that’s grown like a cancer in our government. Say it. Then say it again. Because at this point, not saying it explicitly is as good as not saying it at all.
Put your midot where your mouth is. It’s about damn time but never too late.